roughrimjob: I feel really shitty and useless but at the same time I’m still perfect and better than anyone
triflesandparsnips: This morning my daughter, who is nearly four, saw the stretch marks on my hips and stomach. She ran her hands over them and asked what they were. “I got them when I grew up,” I said, “and a few more when I had you.” I grinned down at her. “They’re my stripes. You’ll get stripes too when you grow up.” She was overjoyed. “Really?” I think she’s in her room now, pretending to...
adrians: The best thing about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that big lonely bed of yours. Left, right, middle, wherever.
unative: time goes by so fast when you’re avoiding homework
538rqaeb98gh434398jvgi: people who do math homework in pen are fearless
parwadise: unfollowers backwards is ‘srewollofnu’ which sounds like screw all of u
rocketpowers: there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone just let that sink in
cyberdepressed: if u ever feel bad about urself just think about the people who use their selfies as their lock screen or wallpaper
nishlo: nishlo: CARTOONIST FOUND DEAD IN HIS APARTMENT DETAILS ARE SKETCHY
city-wall: aziraphaleisineffable: IF YOU’RE EVER SAD SAY ‘TEEHEE’ IN A REALLY DEEP, MANLY VOICE. OH MY GOD
indoxyl: i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job
cassie-schwartz: hawkeyedriza: absolutelydestinysmood: nannajane: in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me you can’t repeat the past can’t repeat the past? why, of course you can! of course you can. “History repeats itself” I rest my case!